Love is Love

Sexual Orientation

Be Proud. Be You.

Even in 2020, sexual orientation still seems to be one of the most difficult topics to discuss. I identify as a gay man and my clients hail from heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, queer, and questioning orientations. I welcome the entire wonderful spectrum of humanity, and believe that my purpose is to help you find yours.

My own background is that I lived in the closet for some time. Actually, for a large part of that, I was in the closet to myself as well. Perhaps, some part of me knew that I was gay, but I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself.

I was raised in a loving family that was very conservatively Christian. At the time, I believed with full conviction in the power of sin and hell, and I was convinced that my attraction to men had nothing to do with my sexual orientation—I was “straight”, after all. Like many other teens, my self-esteem suffered a little, and I believed that I wasn’t so much attracted to other attractive boys, as I was just a little envious of the way they looked. I didn’t realise that what I was wishing for wasn’t to look like them, it was to be with them.

In the process of trying to convince myself (and the world) that I was heteroexual, I very nearly ruined more than my own life. In the end, I couldn’t live the lie anymore, and the truth had to come out. Even then, it took some years to really be open and live as the man I am today—gay, partnered, happy, and very proud.

I understand how society can marginalise and bias itself against us. Being different means that we can’t “just” love someone. For example, as a gay man walking through London while holding his partner’s hand, I’m aware of the constant potential threat of harm that could come our way. Attending the London’s New Year’s fireworks display was another example. It just didn’t feel safe. While all heterosexual couples didn’t have to think about hate crime, the rest of us feel ever-aware of the next crazy person coming past with a knife is aimed at us.

At the very least, people might stare. At worst, we suffer violent crimes. The truth, I’m afraid, isn’t kind.

Feel Better!

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If you’re questioning your sexuality at the moment, my job will be to be your sounding board and support. Clients who seek my counselling for sexual orientation will bear testimony to the fact that I never nudge, infer, or convince. After all, no amount of convincing can change our sexuality anyway.

In addition to coming out and other counselling topics, I also work with my LGBTQIA clients on a variety of issues like self-esteem, jealousy, open relationships, kink, couples counselling, overcoming bias and bigotry, family issues, and career counselling.

Whatever the circumstance, however you identify, I’d like to be of assistance to aid your path to happiness. Please contact me if you’d like to get to know me a little better, or feel free to book a Free Initial Consultation.

Client Feedback:

“I used to tell myself that the feelings I had towards other guys had nothing to do with attraction and was more because of how they looked. I thought that I was comparing my body with theirs. But that didn’t really explain the magazines I’d buy or the websites that I’d browse ‘on accident’.

There was a short time in my teens when I thought I might be bisexual but I didn’t have anybody to talk to and I was sure my parents would throw me out if they ever found out. I’ve since repressed it and told myself it was just a phase.

I’m 28 now and even though my best friends have always been girls, I’ve never been able to stay in a relationship with one for longer than a month. The only time I had sex went very wrong and I thought that I was just doomed and bad in bed.

On the outside my life was great. I have a good job and great career prospects, lots of friends, and I’m physically healthy. Inside I felt empty and like I was living a lie. I found LSHP online.

I was so ashamed and scared of seeing someone, but it really helped a lot to be able to have the therapy online. I’m still working through a lot of pain from the past, but the last 3 months in therapy have been a godsend. He has helped me so much. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m gay and only just realised that I’ve actually been homophobic towards myself all this time.

James wasn’t pushy at all. His questions and advice always meant that I was in control and free to make up my own mind. That’s just the thing – I realised for the first time that it wasn’t about choosing to be a certain way but that this whole time I was trying to choose to be someone I’m not!

I’ve since come out to my parents and friends and through everyone’s acceptance have also begun learning to accept myself.

If you need someone to help you through issues who really actively listens and who can actually help, contact him. I’m finally beginning to feel proud of who I am and I’m beginning to feel like my life has purpose and depth for the first time.”